Pastor...or Porn Star?

Usually, I don't delve into religion or politics...but this fucking guy...

Welcome to the New Millenium.  Two weeks ago, Florida pastor Terry Jones was a no-name, alcoholic, bible-thumping pastor at The Dove World Outreach Centre (interesting name for a House of God) in Gainsville, Florida, preaching the Word of God in-between Budweisers.  But, in this day and age of making every moron with an internet connection a reality tv star or YouTube sensation, the good pastor Jones has come up with the newest buzz-generator on the religious circuit...International Burn a Quran Day.

Can I be the 16,458th to say, "this guy is a fucking asshole."  The first thing that I'd like to know is...who in the hell is listening to a pastor who sports a circa 1976 porn moustache?  Seriously?  The Word of God coming out from under a handle-barred stache?  I certainly don't remember Father Weislowski sporting a John Holmes and throwing back shots of Jack before mass in my altar boy days.

Seems to me that there are about four occupations that the good pastor is suited for...

1)  A Mope (basically, a male porn star who's past his prime and only gets thrown a bone every so often when a director wants to do a throwback film...similar to a MILF, but gets a lot less work).
2) A Child Molester (self-explanatory).
3) Drunk, Belligerent Streetwalker and/or Homeless Guy Who's Pissed Himself on COPS.
4) The Obnoxiously Drunk Used Car Salesman sitting at the end of the bar groping 'feelies' each time a waitress has to pick up her drink order.

Now, it's one thing to be an asshole...but, it's a whole 'nother ballgame when you are single-handedly obliterating the already shaky US-Islamic relations and putting a big red target on our troops stationed in Islamic countries.  I can guarantee that this Porn Star Preacher is a Bush-supporting backer of both our wars overseas...yet in one idiotic action of grand proportion, he's riled up the Islamic community worldwide and put our brave men and women fighting overseas in more jeopardy then ever before.

So, here's my idea.  Let's send ol' Porn Pastor Jones down to Guantanamo Bay and lock him in a cell with a bottle of lube and a leather thong.  Then, we throw in legendary cocksmen Ron Jeremy and Chris Charming, both tripping on three hits of Ecstasy.  Leave the boys in there for about five hours and let them run a train on the good Pastor Jones until he sees the light and learns the true meaning of getting screwed.