Super Pooosey

Jared V. from Normal, IL asks 'Hey Willy, how come you don't post any of your videos on your blog?'

Jared, a very good question, and I probably don't have the response you're looking for.  I don't post any of my 'adult' work on the blog because I don't feel it's the proper arena.  Okay, so my work hasn't won any AVN Awards (the Academy Awards of Porn), but that's not the reason I don't post.  The blog is safe zone for ordinary peeps to have their sex biz questions answered by an industry professional without getting razzed or vilified on chat boards.  I also prefer keeping the blog R-rated so that it can stay on-the-air in the mainstream Internet world...the minute you go XXX, you get log-jammed in with a mish-mosh of titty bells and sex whistles.

Although I work in the XXX world, I have directed mainstream content and have many friends that crossover as well.  Believe it or not, there is even a documentary about how I got here that's coming out early next year...but more on that later.  I am friends with many people in the adult world who, from time to time, traverse into the mainstream.  One of those friends is the fiery hot, 4'9", bouncing ball of Latina love, Lupe Fuentes.  I met Lupe while doing some work for the infamous rockstar-pornstar-RenaissanceMan, Evan Seinfeld (aka Spyder Jonez).  Lupe is Evan's new squeeze and her star is rocketing quick with several recent appearances on the Howard Stern Show.

My good friend and porno newcomer, Maro Villa, just finished cutting a trailer for his upcoming grindhouse (and R-rated) thriller, SuperPooosey...which stars the lovely Lupe Fuentes as Super Pooosey.  The film is being produced by her superstar lover, Evan Seinfeld, who also has a major roll in the film (Evan spent five years playing Jaz Hoyt on the HBO Prison Drama, Oz).  The trailer is a whole lotta fun, so enjoy the fine work of Maro, Lupe, and Evan! 

And keep yer eyes peeled, I'll be posting Willy D exclusives of the upcoming documentary, How I Became a Porn Director, very soon!

How to get that lady hot!

Arsen B. from Glendale, CA writes: "Hey Willy...it might be easy for you to get girl, but what about the rest of us not in sex business? My girlfriend is never hardly in mood (or at least she say), and when she is, she has to get drunk to have orgazam.  How can I get her more in mood?  Sometimes I think maybe I am 'too small?'

Arsen my friend, fear not. You are in a spot that many men have often found themselves...the great fear of intimacy.  Now, I'm not saying that you have to be Don Juan DeMarco or The Most Interesting Man in the World, but you will have to do a little work to get the flame burning a bit hotter...and it will take a lot less then you think!

Alright, so, first things first.  Let's attack men's greatest known fear...penis size (and/or performance). Is it long enough? Is it thick enough? Does it curve too far to the left? Is she not down with my foreskin? Do I cum too fast?  None of us likes to admit it, but we've all had these thoughts from time to time (with the exception of legendary cocksmen such as Ron Jeremy, John Holmes, etc).

Okay... I'm going to let you in on a little industry secret.  Several years ago as I was starting out in the biz, I found myself editing a behind-the-scenes which featured the hard-drinking, chain-smoking, 11-inch-packing, Scott Nails.  The interviewer was asking the extremely hungover Scott what it was like to bang a girl with an 11-inch-rod.  "Awesome, right?" the interviewer quipped.  Scott took a long drag off his Marlboro, turned to the camera, and said, "look, I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. Having eleven inches is a pain-in-the-ass. Most chicks can only handle six inches at one time, so I'm usually only getting half my dick wet when I'm fuckin. Takes a helluva girl to take all of me."

Six inches, max.  Now, there are those of you out there that would argue this point, men and women alike...and yes, there are always exceptions to the rule.  But if six inches is the max for most, then packing 3, 4, and 5 inches is just fine.  We've got to get it out of our heads that the only way to make a woman scream in orgasmic delight is to pound her va-jay-jay with a 9-inch-rod. 

Now with this penis issue off to the side... lets get down to what really turns a woman on....okay, yes, laying down two hours of oral artistry on her unsuspecting vagina isn't a bad idea, but you're much more likely to get a tongue charlie horse, and worse...if you're doing it wrong, she may start watching television.  The key, gentlemen, is the Art of Surprise.

It doesn't matter if you've been dating for ten days or married for ten years...at the core of every woman is a romantic.  The hot chic in Fabio's arms on the cover of the paperback sex/romance novels.  She wants to be surprised.  Awakened.  Noticed.  Devoured.  Worshipped.  Now, before you go running off to your Playstation, listen to me...it's not that hard.

Whatever your 'usual' sex ritual is (if there still is one), change it.  If it usually happens in the bedroom, start kissing her neck in the car right before you two are going into a party.  Do it just enough for her to say "what the hell are you doing, Harold," then stop, smile, and say "sorry, you just look really hot."  Don't think about sex...women always know when we do, so flip it on her.  Act like you could go without it, but when she's least expecting it, kiss her in public.  Eye up her outfit in the elevator.  Whisper in her ear...something naughty that you'd like to do to her...but do it in the grocery store, your parents house, etc.  Comment on that new piece of jewerly or hair style.  What you are doing is a term I like to call 'Kamikazi Foreplay.' 

The key is to get your woman turned on, but confused..."why is he doing this? What has gotten into him?"  She'll talk about it with her friends. She'll be thinking about you.  And more importantly, she'll be getting aroused.  Mystery turns chicks on...always has, always will.  And when you finally get into the bedroom, don't pull a two-minute-Tony... go slow, savor it.  Touch her.  Kiss her.  In fact, after you start the sex, stop it.  Take long pauses.  It will drive her crazy and she'll soon be saying, "Jesus Christ, Bob...just fuck me! Hard!"

And you will.  And you'll also come to realize there's a lot more to satisfying women then packing the nine inches or being a porn director, Arsen in Glendale.

Free Love...Again

Yeah, I know, it's 2010. Porn is on the downside. U-Porn is on the upside. Craigslist took away its 'erotic' section and most of the singles out there are growing weary of all the internet & speed dating. The majority of our interaction as a society comes in little white cables coming through our walls or from signals floating across space (with the exception of the ones which are supposed to reaching my iPhone... yeah, that's a big spitball at you, AT&T).  We don't interact on a human level nearly as much, and, shit...something's gotta give.

I'm a big fan of the 60's and early 70's. Call me a hippie, a dippie, or whatever you'd like...but it was, as a whole, a better time to be a human.  Movies were not made solely to destroy the weekly box-office and 'sequel' wasn't quite yet a word. Dennis Hopper made a movie where three dudes cruise the country on motorcycles without much of a plot and end up all dying in the end...and it was a hit movie!! Not an indie gem never to be seen.  Love and sex were terms of endearment, not sins of the flesh to be condemned by every Christian, Bush-loving preacher from sea to shining sea.

The nude body, nakedness, and sex were not taboo--they were healthy forms of expression.  People would rejoice in large groups and express their bodies and their love (and their LSD...but that's a whole nother topic).  All in all, it was a better time.  A freer time.  We weren't so PC and absolute hypocrites about everything that relates to the human form.  We are supposedly the greatest nation on earth, yet we have to go to Europe (especially the south of France) to see remnants of this time.  The bastardized term of 'pornography' rose from all of this, the same way 'bootleggers' rose from the time of prohibition.

So, what does one do to get back to that time of 'free love,' where we cared much less about what we revealed and much more about what we were as humans.  Fuck, maybe I'm rambling here...but I think it's about time we took a stand.  I want to bring back 'free love.'  I mean, hell...lets face it, every type of porn imaginable has been made...why not do some 'free love porn?'  In fact, lets just take the nasty little 'porn' tag off it and do some 'free love.'  Spontaneous showings of love and affection...on the street corners, in the parks, on the beaches.  Really, why not?  What's stopping us (besides getting busted for indecent exposure)?

Here's my idea...lets unofficially denote October 1st, 2010 as Free Love Day.  Send me in your ideas of what we could do as Americans to celebrate Free Love Day.  Make love with your special someone in an outdoor location?  Have sex on the roof, then shoot off some fireworks?  Have a Free Love Relay where each naked runner, instead of passing a baton to the next runner, they bone them full of love!!!  Seriously, lets try it folks.  A healthy expression of our bodies and our love on October 1st.  Send me in your ideas and we'll get this holiday on the map!!  Just do it!  Sex in the City!!

Amateur Porn...Fact or Fiction?

Mark from Los Angeles asks... "Willy, when I come across one of these internet videos where male strippers are hired to work a bachelorette party and halfway through the video the women start giving the male strippers blow jobs and sex (and I believe these women are 'real' women, not porn stars)...is this real? Does this actually happen? And, do they get releases from everyone there?"

Mark...wow, this question is a doozy....I'll try to hit all three parts.  I guess my first reaction would be--why are you watching internet videos of male strippers? You do know you can actually see live performances by the Chippendales on any given weekend in Vegas.  It's only a 5 hour drive from Los Angeles...    okay, just kidding...

My overall response to your inquiry would be 'no'...this is not real.  Working in both the adult and mainstream worlds, I have found that anything tagged 'reality' these days is anything but--and that includes celebrity 'sex tapes.'  The only show on television that I believe to be true 'reality' is COPS.  There is absolutely no way that any producer or writer (J.J. Abrams included) could write scenes as genius as the ones on COPS.  A trucker getting busted for masturbating in his cab while wearing a leopard-pattern mini skirt?  An elderly woman driving through the front of a Circle K, then walking inside to buy a six-pack of Coors?  Now, that's reality.  Everything else...forget it.

Case and point #2...OPERATION REPO--TruTV ('not reality, actuality'). Now, I've known a few repo men in my time, and there is one thing I know for sure--any repo man with half a brain isn't doing his repo-ing during the day. They do it at night when the vehicle's owners are asleep. Repo men do not intentionally look for confrontations a-la the overfed crew on OPERATION REPO.  And when repo men do have run-ins with vehicle owners, they are not dressed as Star Trek characters or clad in leather and chain mail.  The shows producers are writing said segments and casting actors to play these ridiculous roles. There is no form of 'reality' on such shows, in fact, most reality shows seem to be more scripted then their fictional contemporaries. 

The same goes for SPEEDERS, THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW JERSEY (DC, OC, etc), GENE SIMMONS: FAMILY JEWELS, etc.  Now, these shows are shot in 'docu-reality-style,' yet the storylines and character actions are very much scripted...otherwise, you'd have some very boring television (Gene going to synagogue on Yom Kippur...Caroline dealing with her period on a heavy-flow-Maxy-Monday...you get the gist). 

The same applies to these celebrity 'sex tapes.' I mean, really?  Pam & Tommy's sex tape somehow gets lost and out to the public?  And the same thing happening to Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton, Danielle Staub (can't believe I'm considering her a celeb), Tila Tequila?  C'mon, people.  Anybody who is anybody has a sex tape out these days.  What better way to get your celebrity star out of the dumpster and shining back on TMZ--and without paying a dime to high-end PR companies!  And you better believe most of these celebs have teamed up with the company releasing the said 'sex tape,' splitting the video's gross profits with Vivid. 

But I digress. So...we have several women, some married and some not (but most likely with boyfriends), ripping the speedos off their Chippendale dancers and performing Grade-A fellatio while one of their friends films the event on video?  Forget it. Now, if it was a bachelor party with a room full of drunk dudes and two strippers/high-end call girls...maybe.  But women are way too cool (and savvy) to be involved in such an idiotic foray.  I'm sorry to throw water on your internet fantasy, but the women in this video are porn starlets (or at least starlets-in-training), and yes, everyone performing in the video has most likely signed a release form and a 2257 (standard porn release form stating that you are at least 18 and are aware of what you are doing).  And the stripper dudes are most likely porn stars as well--or at least working for a second-tier Chippendale spin-off company that allows 'happy endings' in their performances.

In this day and age of videotaping every moment of every day, anything that seems 'too dramatic' or 'too sexy' or 'too good to be true,' well...it is.  Reality is no longer reality.  Everyone is a celebrity.  And 'amateur sex tapes' are usually anything but.  You want reality?  Go to the DMV on a Monday morning and feast your eyes on real life.

Okay...here's the plan

Dear Reader,

I promise this will be the last posting on Pastor Terry Jones.  But, before he single-handedly stirs up another 9/11, I have a plan that I believe will stop Pastor Terry Jones in his tracks....

To the gay and lesbian population in and around Gainsville, Florida...you need to stage a 'love-in' on Saturday, right on the front law of The Dove World Outreach Centre in Gainsville.  We all know by now that the good Pastor is a closet homosexual, so a massive gay 'love-in' right on his front law will send him running and defeat his retarded plans.

Get out your rainbow flags...show your love for one another...and get down to The Dove World Outreach Centre at 5805 NW 37th St Gainesville, FL 32653; Phone: 352-371-2487.  Please, help us save the world from this Idiot!!!!

Okay, Pastor Penis...this is war.

Dear reader, I apologize about a second posting without answering any of your questions, but this Pinhead Pastor in Florida has gone too far.

I really didn't want it to come to this, but Pastor Terry Jones and his Dove Outreach Centre for Ignoramuses has left me no choice.  He's determined to follow through with his absolutely retarded plan to burn the Quran, so I've dug up a few nuggets from the Pastor's checkered past which I'm bringing into the light in the hopes that this will help to extinguish his ridiculous plans.

The Pastor is against Muslims, Gays, and most likely every other group that makes up our world, with the exception of White Trash, Dixie-Lovin', Liquor-Swillin', God-Fearing, Inbred Southern peeps.  Now, I've often found in life that when someone is anti-anything, it usually stems back to a deep guilt of loving the things and groups that they are most against.  And sure enough, after digging through the Good Pastor's closet and talking to several of my acquaintances in the adult biz, looky what I found.

Please do your part and get the photos out on the Internet and send them to everyone you know.  Pastor Terry Jones' secret life must be exposed...we must stop his idiot plans...we must expose him as the gay, Muslim-loving, teddy bear that he truly is!!


Exhibit A:

Pastor Terry Jones and his former lover, Rahim Abdul, Teddy Bear Club, 2005

Exhibit B:

Pastor Terry Jones and former yoga instructor/lover, Ali Ramirez, 2002

 















Exhibit C:

Pastor Terry Jones and lover Damien Saddleback after their
wedding, San Francisco, 2007

Pastor...or Porn Star?

Usually, I don't delve into religion or politics...but this fucking guy...

Welcome to the New Millenium.  Two weeks ago, Florida pastor Terry Jones was a no-name, alcoholic, bible-thumping pastor at The Dove World Outreach Centre (interesting name for a House of God) in Gainsville, Florida, preaching the Word of God in-between Budweisers.  But, in this day and age of making every moron with an internet connection a reality tv star or YouTube sensation, the good pastor Jones has come up with the newest buzz-generator on the religious circuit...International Burn a Quran Day.

Can I be the 16,458th to say, "this guy is a fucking asshole."  The first thing that I'd like to know is...who in the hell is listening to a pastor who sports a circa 1976 porn moustache?  Seriously?  The Word of God coming out from under a handle-barred stache?  I certainly don't remember Father Weislowski sporting a John Holmes and throwing back shots of Jack before mass in my altar boy days.

Seems to me that there are about four occupations that the good pastor is suited for...

1)  A Mope (basically, a male porn star who's past his prime and only gets thrown a bone every so often when a director wants to do a throwback film...similar to a MILF, but gets a lot less work).
2) A Child Molester (self-explanatory).
3) Drunk, Belligerent Streetwalker and/or Homeless Guy Who's Pissed Himself on COPS.
4) The Obnoxiously Drunk Used Car Salesman sitting at the end of the bar groping 'feelies' each time a waitress has to pick up her drink order.

Now, it's one thing to be an asshole...but, it's a whole 'nother ballgame when you are single-handedly obliterating the already shaky US-Islamic relations and putting a big red target on our troops stationed in Islamic countries.  I can guarantee that this Porn Star Preacher is a Bush-supporting backer of both our wars overseas...yet in one idiotic action of grand proportion, he's riled up the Islamic community worldwide and put our brave men and women fighting overseas in more jeopardy then ever before.

So, here's my idea.  Let's send ol' Porn Pastor Jones down to Guantanamo Bay and lock him in a cell with a bottle of lube and a leather thong.  Then, we throw in legendary cocksmen Ron Jeremy and Chris Charming, both tripping on three hits of Ecstasy.  Leave the boys in there for about five hours and let them run a train on the good Pastor Jones until he sees the light and learns the true meaning of getting screwed.